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worried

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If I live to be as old and learned as the eldest of the Sages, I will never understand how only three people can make as much noise as Rachel, Dinah and Helena do. They have obtained a copy of the lashon hara magazine that our mother does not permit in the house, which Alden purchased before they were all confiscated, and they are trying to figure out which parts are the German propaganda. I really don't think that such material is appropriate for the eyes of young ladies, but if I say that Rachel will laugh and tell me I'm half right, she's certainly young. Of course Rachel is betrothed now and not my problem. Mother put a scarf on her head when we left the house this morning and I'm sure it is still somewhere on the train. Possibly even among her belongings as she does wear a tichel and has for years, to keep the hair out of her eyes when she goes to fly. I have no idea why our mother believes that Rachel could ever have been a prefect.

I have other concerns. Quite a few of our Housemates appear to be missing. Miss Ducas the elder is said to have eloped with Mr Malaspina who was Head Boy last year, though as they were engaged when last I saw them, I am not quite sure how it can be an elopement. (I'm sure that if I say anything out loud Dinah will inform me of some sordid fact I did not know and do not wish to know that would explain this mystery, but I am better off without I think.) There is no explanation however for the absence of Mr Loveday, Mr Brenner and Miss Greenwood. I am rather concerned about this as Mr Loveday's by-line is on an article in the lashon hara magazine (the only article in the entire thing that appears to be free of pornographic detail or malicious gossip, hence the only one I looked at for more than a second) and I cannot believe he would willingly have co-operated with the Germans. I do hope that something terrible has not happened to him and his friends.

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will they ever stop shouting?

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It's impossible to say morning prayers with any kind of proper spirit when my mother is shouting at Rachel like that. I warned her before she left that I knew she was up to something that she would regret and she ought to reconsider her plans, whatever they were. (I dare not say this, because Mother will then decide that I knew exactly what Rachel was planning to do--if in fact Rachel actually planned to do whatever it is that she's done, which I doubt, knowing Rachel--and did nothing about it.)

Mother says only Alden Goldstein would ever marry her. I think Mother had better accept that perhaps it's a good thing if Rachel marries Alden Goldstein. No, the Goldsteins are not as observant as we are; but then, our father isn't as observant as Mother and I, and Rachel isn't as observant as our father is. And if Rachel marries Alden Goldstein and becomes the Goldsteins' problem, Dinah won't have whatever it is that she did hanging over her head (except for whenever our mother opens her mouth.)

I can't think Rachel did anything horrible, though. I'm sure she was immodestly dressed and I'm sure she and Goldstein were touching, and I wouldn't be surprised if she had eaten something she shouldn't have, because these are all things that Rachel does at school, and if our mother says she doesn't know about it, it's only because she's been trying to ignore it. But from the sound of things, it actually seems as though Rachel and Alden were tricked by that friend of theirs, Crockford, the Communist. I wish I thought Mother would listen to me about this.

She might listen about marrying Goldstein, though. If I can get to our father first.